Aniki
by SouPi
Summary: Aniki means brother, something that Hiei can't be. However Yukina is looking for hers. Guess who gets hitched along for the ride?
1. A bringer of sorrow

Chan: All righty then. This is our first ever fic!  
  
Da Da Da Dun!  
  
Chibi: Yep, yep! It was all me!  
  
Chan: What?! What do you mean all you?! I wrote all of this!  
  
(Sticks tongue out at Chan) Chibi: I came up with the idea!  
  
(Self insert Hiei here.) Hiei: Hn.  
  
(Both authoresses squeal in delight and latch onto Hiei.)  
  
Hiei: Let go of me, baka ningen onna, the both of you.  
  
Chan: HIEI-CHAN! (Hugs him even tighter.)  
  
Chibi: No! He's mine!  
  
(Self insert Kurama here.) Kurama: Hello Hiei. It's nice to see you associating yourself a bit more with these girls.  
  
Hiei: Damn! Get these ningens off me.  
  
Chibi: MINE! (Latches herself onto Kurama.)  
  
Kurama: Well, at least one is off.  
  
Chan: Good! Hiei-chan is MINE! But the rest belongs to Yoshihiro Togashi.  
  
Chibi: NO! I own 'Rama-chan!  
  
(Both bishonens) Sweatdrop  
  
Kurama: Let's start, shall we?  
  
= - = - = - = - =  
  
It was your average Ningenkai morning. The sunny blue sky, the shining sun, the little chirping annoyances that Yukina oh so loves...  
  
However, for the Reikai Tantei, no matter where they were, Reikai, Ningenkai, or Makai, the peace would never last.  
  
Why, you ask? Because there's always some ass-brained demon that thinks that she/he/it, is all-powerful, has WAY too much time on their hands, and ruling over all three worlds would be fun for the time being.  
  
This is where our story starts.  
  
= - = - =: Chapter one: The bringer of sorrow: = - = - =  
  
A lithe shadow hung in the safety of the brushes, as he watched a petite figure in a kimono bend down to pick something, most presumably a flower.  
  
His startling red eyes softened at the sight of the young girl, having an almost longing look shadowing his face.  
  
"Yukina..." He dared to whisper as his heart fluttered inside his chest, making it hard him to breathe.  
  
Was it guilt? No, impossible, demons like himself shouldn't have such inferior emotions. Yet...how he longed to talk to her, comfort her, but no.  
  
Someone so stained with blood shouldn't – couldn't ruin the innocent pearl before his eyes.  
  
As if magically hearing her name, she turned her head to the tree that the shadow was hiding, almost knowing that he was there.  
  
Blinking her wide childlike eyes, she turned her head away, and resumed her task. However, she would often glance towards the direction where the stranger was, somehow just KNOWING that he was there.  
  
"Who's there? Please come out. I wouldn't hurt you." She called out to the forest, silence was her answer. In the distance, she could faintly hear the fluttering of the annoyances, accompanied by their chirping.  
  
The shadow took an involuntary step backwards, catching himself just in time to remember that he was on a branch, and taking a step so mentioned would be something like Kuwabara would do.  
  
He would cut his throat first before succumbing to that idiot's level.  
  
Looking back to where the ice maiden was, his heart jumped when she wasn't there anymore. His eyes quickly darted around, looking for his counterpart.  
  
Yukina quietly hummed to herself as she walked back to Genkai's temple, her beautiful flowers were arranged in a colorful pattern in her arms, contrasting greatly against her pale blue dress.  
  
She closed her eyes as she listened to the birds that sang along with her, never noticing the upturned root blocking her path.  
  
Her foot caught against the obstacle, causing her to pitch forwards.  
  
The girl felt herself stumble, and her eyes opened, showing her panic and alarm. Before she could utter a startled cry, she felt herself being caught by strong arms.  
  
"Hiei-san?" She stared into his crimson orbs, so deep, and so full of pain that never seemed to go away.  
  
"Hn." He grunted, as he hefted her into a more comfortable position in his arms. The demon started to carry her back, bridal fashion.  
  
She blushed as she weakly protested. "I-I can walk by myself. Please let me down Hiei-san."  
  
Hiei looked down at her once, before resuming his quest. He spoke quietly in his gruff voice, "We're almost there. Mere minutes won't make much a difference."  
  
She smiled as she held the bouquet in her arms tighter. She stared at her savior, looking at him with a closer insight.  
  
His black clothing was rumpled, no doubt that he just had arrived from the Makai. His stunning white scarf that greatly contrasted with his outfit trailed down to his shoulders, swaying slightly as he walked.  
  
Hiei shifted uncomfortably as he felt her soft gaze upon him.  
  
Somehow, he couldn't help thinking that she somehow could read his mind, knowing exactly who, when, and what he killed in the past, although he himself didn't know. He had lost count around fifty a LONG time ago.  
  
Her soft voice brought him out of his stupor. "I just want to thank you...for catching me..."  
  
"Hn," He deliberately looked away as his chest tightened.  
  
Curse him for being such a coward! He could kill another demon within a heartbeat, feeling their hot, coppery blood smear across his face and sneer at the pathetic creature, yet when it came to his sister... he was even worse than the fool.  
  
She smiled to herself. She never looked at the temperamental fire Youkai the way the others did. Even though he sounded cold and distant, she often found meanings within meanings in his few choice of words.  
  
She just loved the way that Kazuma and Hiei-san would always 'get along.'  
  
Flashback   
  
"Yukina-chan! Your manly Kazuma is here!" The orange haired teen called out as he entered the temple, mindful to take off his shoes first.  
  
"Why hello Kazuma. Won't you join Hiei-san for tea?" She said as she slid one of the doors open.  
  
"The shrimp's here? I mean...Err, I would just LOVE to, my sweet Yukina darling!" He quickly amended his mistake as he greeted her with open arms. Literally.  
  
As she went to fetch the kettle, Kuwabara threw the door open as he stomped inside.  
  
"All right runt, what the hell are you doing with MY Yukina baby?" He found the demon sitting (For once) in a cross-legged position, at a wooden table.  
  
"Hn, are you really that stupid, or is your vision as good as your intelligence level?" He snorted as he tried ignoring the idiot.  
  
He failed miserably as so Kurama wasn't there to restrain him.  
  
"Are you insulting me runt-boy? Say that to my face like a man!" He grabbed the demon by the collar of his clothes and drew him up to his eye level.  
  
"Yes, I just insulted you, seeing so that you are unable to realize this, you fool." Hiei snarled, bearing his all too sharp fangs at the moron.  
  
Kuwabara yelped as he dropped Hiei, startled by the other's actions. "I'll beat your face in, midget-runt!"  
  
The demon raised his eyebrow at this new offense. "How impressive. Using words that don't even exist."  
  
All hell broke loose as Kuwabara was about to beat Hiei up (Yeah right), and as Hiei's hand suspiciously drew near his Katana.  
  
Before one could blink, Hiei had knocked out Kuwabara out, with the flat end of his blade.  
  
Shame too. I mean, he could have at least tipped his hand to and angle, and 'accidentally' send him to a hospital with life threatening wounds...  
  
Looking at the ningen with disgust, he kicked him into a position so that the ugly human wasn't kissing the floor. After all, he didn't want Yukina to clean up the drool that the repulsive ningen made.  
  
Sitting back to his former position, the demon quietly awaited for his tea, or rather Yukina.  
  
When the ice maiden came back with the steaming kettle, safe to say that she was rather surprised to see Kazuma 'sleeping.'  
  
"Oh my... Kazuma..." She put a hand over her mouth as she tried not to giggle.  
  
"Hn, he was tired, so he is 'resting' if you can put it that way." With that, Hiei disappeared, using his usual method of exit. The window.  
  
'Oh my. Hiei-san is such a nice person. He even left Kazuma to make sure that he can get his 'rest'. How very considerate of him.' She thought as she was left unaware of their 'conversation' earlier.  
  
Since that day, out of the Reikai Tantei, she had always thought that those two held high respect for each other....  
  
End Flashback   
  
Hiei, with surprising gentleness, let her down in her room, and stared down at his feet uncomfortably.  
  
Yukina started to hum as she found a vase to put her flowers in. Arranging them in a special order, she turned back to Hiei and showed him her flora.  
  
"Aren't they so pretty? This red one is the shade of your eyes too. See?" She pointed out a particular rose that was in full bloom, showing off to the world its beauty.  
  
Unsure of what to do, Hiei nodded, almost dieing of the unbearable atmosphere that he was generating. Yukina was oblivious to the fact though as she placed the white vase on top of her drawer.  
  
He couldn't stand it anymore. If he spent another minute in this uncomfortable silence without knowing what to do, he would drive himself insane.  
  
"Wait! Don't go!" Yukina somehow sensed that he was about to disappear again, like he would always do before she could talk to him properly.  
  
Especially about THAT question.  
  
Now, Hiei was a demon who never took orders. From nobody. Not even the brat in hell, or heaven, whatever you call that place.  
  
He just... felt the need to assist the bloody fools before they screwed up and sent the worlds spiraling into utter chaos. Like it or not, he lived in one of those worlds too.  
  
However, a simple command from Yukina was all that he ever needed. He forced his leg muscles to relax and calmed his racing heart.  
  
"Before you go away again...can you answer this question for me?" She had a pleading look in her innocent eyes, melting Hiei's cold heart a bit.  
  
"Hn." Hiei grunted, not liking where this was heading.  
  
"My brother, can you... did you find him yet?" She whispered softly, almost to the point where Hiei couldn't hear her anymore.  
  
However, it didn't matter. The question was always the same.  
  
Hiei fiddled with two options in his mind. One, to tell her and get it over with, handling her rejection alone in the shadows of Makai. Two, tell her no, and continue to find himself. Or the last option... ending this for good.  
  
You all know, since he was a self-absorbed demon, so his chose...option three.  
  
"Yes."  
  
Yukina's heart skipped a beat, and then started to race faster, excitement coloring her pale cheeks.  
  
"However, not the way you intended it to be." He HAD to do this. For both of them. He couldn't stand it, watching it eat little by little of Yukina's life. It HAD to end here.  
  
Her heart stopped. Then it started again, faster than ever, getting a bad gut feeling in her stomach. "Wh-what d-do you mean?"  
  
"I found his corpse. He is dead."  
  
= - = - =: Yusuke: Ok, this is officially screwed. Me and Kurama show up at the hag's shrine to hear that Yukina's brother is dead! Damn it Hiei! What'd the hell you have to go and have to buy the farm now?! Wait, so you're not dead? But I thought that she said... Oh no, what the hell have you done now Hiei? Next time on Yu Yu Hakusho: A funeral...FOR HIEI!?! 


	2. A funeral FOR HIEI!

Chibi: Wheeee! We've got 6 reviews! (Becomes ecstatic)  
  
Chan: Here's some thanks to:  
  
Muse456: Thanks Effie for reviewing! Hey, what are you gonna do over the summer? Maybe you, Danny, and everyone else should go to the movies or something? Call me, all right?  
  
Kikko: Thanks for taking the time to review. You'd better start liking cliffhangers more, because there's gonna be a ton in this story.  
  
Sillyningengirl: Thank you so much for adding us into your favorite story list! We read your story, and I (Chan) thinks that it's pretty good. The characters are really in character. Thanks for the support!  
  
Lady Dragon: Yeah, Hiei's too predictable, but that's why we love him! Thanks for reviewing. Stay with us!  
  
Mariko6: Thank ye for adding thee to thy list of Favorite stories! Thee unworthy ones feel so privileged! Sob, sob  
  
Rebekah: Stay with us! Keep on the reviews! Thank you so much for reading this! Thank you!  
  
Kimiangel02: You do realize that you're the first to review our story? (Horns play in the background) Thank you so much! And don't worry, your request will be granted in like...soon. Thank you!  
  
Hiei: Hn.  
  
Kurama: Why the long face Hiei? Aren't you happy for Chibi and Chan?  
  
Hiei: Hn.  
  
Kurama: Oh, I see then. You're jealous.  
  
Hiei: What foolish notion is in your head fox? I have no such thoughts!  
  
Chan: (To Kurama) You understand him?  
  
Kurama: Of course.  
  
Chibi: Wow...I mean all he says all the time is 'Hn,'  
  
Chan: Ok, we're getting off topic here. I think that we should do the disclaimer.  
  
Chibi: NO!!!!! (Starts hyperventilating)  
  
Everyone: Sweatdrop  
  
Chan: We don't own anything 'cause we're dirt poor! Boo hoo. BUT I own Hiei- chan!  
  
Hiei: Hn, the lord have mercy on us all.  
  
Kurama: Hiei!  
  
Chan: Ok, err roll it!  
  
= - = - = - = - =  
  
"Aww damn. Stupid stairs, stupid Kuwabara, stupid Keiko, stupid Kuwabara...Wait, I already said that. Damn it all! Of all the stupid, stupid places to meet, it just HAS to be the hag's shrine?" Yusuke scuffed the ground, causing the dust to kick up in their faces.  
  
Coughing, his red headed companion fanned the air around him. "Really Yusuke, must you?" His voice seemed muffed, as he squinted his emerald green eyes.  
  
It wasn't the fact that they had to climb up all those stairs that pissed off Yusuke. It was just the mere fact that it was perfectly good Saturday afternoon to be wasted on matters such as these.  
  
It was always the same. Meet up with the ruler of hell, go and kill the demons who are trying to take over the world from hell, and meet up with the slap from hell for ditching their date. It happened in a chronological order every time.  
  
"Well, what is it this time? The Toguro brothers back and out for revenge, the saint beasts were resurrected by some stupid necre-thingabob..."  
  
"That would be Necromancer Yusuke." Kurama politely corrected the spirit detective.  
  
"Yeah, yeah, some stupid crap like that is bound to come up sooner or later." Yusuke huffed as they started to climb up the stairs.  
  
To the detective's right, Kurama seemed to be lost in a train of thought. His brilliant jaded eyes were narrowed, giving him an intense battle look.  
  
Frowning slightly, Yusuke noticed the fox's troubled look. "Yo Kurama, what's up now?"  
  
Slowly playing around with his words, the Kitsune spoke in a soft voice. "From what I could gather, someone had died before the phone line was cut off. Kuwabara seemed rather... distraught over the communicator. Something is not right."  
  
Yusuke started to chortle, slightly surprising the red haired teen. "Yeah right. The reception up there is so bad that you can't even hear yourself talk. You probably misunderstood him or something dumb like that."  
  
Seeing that Kurama wasn't reassured, Yusuke continued. "I mean, how many people we know would suddenly drop dead? Let's see, there's you, me, Kuwabara, Yukina, Genkai, Shizuru, Keiko, and Ma."  
  
"What about Botan, or Koenma for the matter?" Kurama looked at the endless steps, as he craned his head to see the top.  
  
The raven-haired fighter snorted. "They're already dead, and we all know that Hiei's next to immortal."  
  
"True." The fox nodded, as he carefully considered whatever could be the problem. "Perhaps that I'm just overacting."  
  
"Yeah. Probably one of Yukina's birds croaked or Kuwabara sat on it or something." Yusuke hung his hands around his neck, giving him a carefree look.  
  
Kurama smiled to himself, clearly amused by the other's antics. No matter how many fights, no matter how many deaths, the detective somehow always managed to keep his untroubled personality.  
  
And that's something to boast about.  
  
After several grueling hours (Not really, more like minutes), the two members of the Reikai Tantei were greeted by the comic relief of the group.  
  
"Hey guys! 'Bout time you showed up. Yukina-chan's really sad." Kuwabara waved as Yusuke raised his eyebrow patronizingly.  
  
"All right, what the hell happened?" The young fighter demanded, as he rolled up his sleeves, obviously looking very intimidating.  
  
The orange haired idiot took a step backwards, not forgetting the 'olden' days where Mr. Flatface met Mr. Concrete sidewalk.  
  
"Err...something about Yukina-chan's brother. She said that he's well...I guess dead." Kuwabara looked saddened that 'his' Yukina was sad.  
  
"WHAT! HOW CAN /HE/ BE DEAD?!" Yusuke reached volumes where Kurama had never heard before.  
  
"Yeah I know. It's really sad. I mean I bet he was really a good guy." Kuwabara said, his stupidity getting the better of him.  
  
"He died? But how... Someone as strong as...No, it's not possible..." Kurama was thoroughly shocked as Yusuke.  
  
"HOW CAN /HE/ BE DEAD?! WHY? WHY?! DAMNIT, WHY?!" Yusuke pounded the ground with his fist, his shoulders shaking uncontrollably, choking back cries.  
  
"No..." Kurama's face was pale, as perspiration broke out.  
  
"Hn, and what are all you fools acting all sentimental for?"  
  
"He's dead, dead. Gone, bit the dust I tell you!" Wailed Yusuke as he ignored the extremely short fire demon behind him.  
  
"Um, Yusuke... I think that..." Kurama had a weak smile on as he miserably failed to comfort the teen.  
  
"Damn, I remember the good old days. Do you remember guys, the time he, and the time where..." Yusuke started to rant about the 'good old days'.  
  
"YUSUKE!" Kurama sharply reprimanded the juvenile delinquent. "I think that we have a minor misunderstanding here."  
  
"...And the time where he... What Kurama? Can't you see-"Yusuke stopped as he turned around where Kurama was pointing pacifically. "HIEI! YOU'RE STILL ALIVE!"  
  
"Hn." The youkai wasn't very happy to see him.  
  
"Uh guys... What's going on here..." Kuwabara had his 'stupid' look on. Obviously, his small brain captivity was going overload processing the data from the mainstream and E-drive... (Chan starts to rant on and on about computers.)  
  
"Oh nothing Kuwabara. It seems that everything is all right." Kurama couldn't keep the relief from seeping into his voice.  
  
"Uh, I still don't get it." The 'poor fool' as Hiei would put it, was evidentially and utterly lost.  
  
"Maybe it's best for us all then." Kurama murmured quietly as Yusuke was patronizing the fire youkai for lying to them like that.  
  
"Damn it Hiei, what the hell happened here?" Yusuke slapped the shorter demon's shoulder in a friendly manner.  
  
Scowling darkly, the temperamental swordsman of the group growled warningly. "If I were you Detective, I highly advise you to shut up." He let scorn and contempt drip like honey from his words.  
  
"Now, now... Let's talk things over inside, shall we?" Kurama wisely intervened, saving Yusuke from a rather PAINFUL death.  
  
"Hn."  
  
"Keh."  
  
"Err... I still don't get it."  
  
Smiling faintly, Kurama had to give it to them. Without these three, no doubt that chaos would ensure the three worlds... And that's what scared him.  
  
= - = - = - = - =  
  
It was tense inside the small-enclosed room. To make matters worse, Yukina was in the other room next door. The problem? She was crying.  
  
"Jesus Hiei, what'd you tell her?" Yusuke and Kurama huddled around the demon, Hiei not liking this particular seating arrangement.  
  
"Hn."  
  
"Oh Kami, you didn't Hiei..." The normally calm Kurama had a pained look on his face.  
  
"Hn."  
  
"Holy cheese on Rye, you did!" Yusuke yelped.  
  
"Hn. It was for the best." Hiei kept his eyed adverted to the window behind the two 'humans'.  
  
"Hiei..." Kurama looked at his friend with disappointment in his eyes. "How could you do that to the poor girl. No wonder that she is devastated."  
  
"That was heartless Hiei, and here I thought that Kuwabara..." Yusuke shook his head, as he ran a hand through it.  
  
Before anyone could say another word, the door opened, and Botan came out with Keiko and Yukina behind her. Yukina's eyes were red, (When you get from crying too much, not the color of her eyes) and puffy.  
  
Hiei immediately stiffened as he saw her in that state. One word flashed into his mind. '...Yukina.'  
  
He felt the detective's elbow nudging his side, how he wanted to remove that appendage that was bugging him so.  
  
"Now, Yukina-chan wants to talk to all of you." Botan, as usual, had her cheerful smile on. She leaned closer to the girl and whispered quite loudly, "Go ahead Yukina-chan!"  
  
Looking hesitant, the ice maiden sniffed before speaking in her soft voice. "I-I would want to thank all of you... for helping me search for my br- brother. Ano, h-he is dead though." At this, she began to tear up again, although she kept on going.  
  
"Hiei-san had kindly looked for h-him, a-and h-he said t-that he f-found hi- his..." She started to cry, the priceless tear gems shed for the brother that she never knew.  
  
With each tear, each gem, Hiei felt his heart tear itself in two, until he could no longer bear the pain. Swallowing a vile taste in his mouth back, he bit his lower lip, ready to leave, until Kurama's sharp voice made him turn around.  
  
"Where might you be going Hiei? I'm sure that you can spare a day or so attending the FUNERAL that we are going to have for this...BROTHER." His voice was laced with anger, along with heavy sarcasm that was usually reserved for his enemies.  
  
"Fox..." Hiei hissed venomously, baring his fangs in frustration.  
  
"Yeah, I mean, you're like a second BROTHER to Yukina and everything, HIEI." Yusuke caught onto Kurama's plan, his voice equally mocking.  
  
"Detective, I warn you..." Hiei eyed his sister, who was looking at him curiously (Through tears and gems), although not truly understanding what was going on.  
  
"No doubt that you will comfort her, HIEI. She is almost like the FAMILY that you never had." Kurama continued, as if nothing was wrong.  
  
="Fox, I am warning you. Cease this pointless-"=  
  
="Pointless what Hiei? How can one be so cruel to one's flesh and blood?"= Kurama telepathically cut in.  
  
="Like they hadn't done so to me! THEY'RE the reason why we are so. If they hadn't- NONE of this would have happened! The forbidden child! ME!"= Hiei stared angrily into Kurama's piercing gaze.  
  
="Hiei..."= This time, Kurama's tone was a bit softer. =" We must all stop living in the past. What was done is done. Do not make the future worse to wear. Mend the present while you can... before it is too late to go back, and it becomes part of your past."=  
  
="I will do as I please...Fox."= He angrily spat, snarling as he did so.  
  
With that, he left, not even a warning too give him away.  
  
"He said that he would be more than happy to be the man of honor. I'm sure that he'll give a beautiful eulogy to your brother." Kurama sweetly said to Yukina, as she held back her sobs.  
  
"Thank you Kurama-kun." She wiped the last of the tears away, with a subtle determination in her eyes.  
  
"Now that's settled, how 'bout I, your manly Kazuma, take you out to the Sakura Festival?" Kuwabara grinned, his big, ugly, gay grin, scaring her a bit so.  
  
"Festival?" Yukina questioned, as Botan leapt into the fray.  
  
"Bingo! The Sakura festival! Perfect! So, how about it Yukina-chan? Me, you, Kuwabara, and the rest?" Botan clasped the girl on both shoulders, smiling brightly as ever.  
  
"That's perfect Botan! Oh Yusuke, won't that be so much fun?" Keiko excitedly said as she hugged Yusuke's arm.  
  
Of course, the temptation for the detective was too great...  
  
"YUSUKE YOU PERVERT!" As usual, in chronological order, came the slap from hell.  
  
SLAP!   
  
"Really Yusuke...By now, you should have learned!" Botan wagged her finger at the irate teen.  
  
Kurama sighed to himself. Great, his day can't get any worse.  
  
= - = - = - = - =  
  
Botan: It's Botan here. Poor Yukina-chan's feeling down, so we're taking her to the festival to cheer her up! What? Hiei, what are YOU doing here? Oh my, Yusuke! Don't give him the... Next time, on Yu Yu Hakusho: Sugar high? Or not... 


	3. Sugar High? Or not

Chan: OMG! Thank you SO much for the reviews! (Starts to wander in 'La La land')  
  
Chibi: Yep. We want to thank all those who reviewed.  
  
Fleetfoot: Yay, you read our story! Sure, I'll come over, but you've got to call me first. (Chan: Hint, hint) Oh! New idea for Manga! I'll tell you all about it when I come over. Sugar high? That's nothing. Wait until the next chapter though, sake is given! (Lightning flashes in the background)  
  
Rosinsniffer: WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO GIVE BACK MY DVD!?! And yeah, you could have all those guys, as long as I've got my Hiei-chan! Anne's gonna freak though, for some strange reason, she thinks that Shuuichi and Youko are one being...  
  
Kikko: Thanks so much for reviewing! That means a lot to me!  
  
Sillyningengirl: Thanks for taking the time to read our story! I like your story, but can you try not making it into script form? Maybe you'll get more reviews that way. But I really like your plot line!  
  
Gorgac: Sup dawg? You know what's Erin's doing over the summer? Give me a call, all right?  
  
Jessica: Thanks for reviewing our story! Stay with us!  
  
Omasuoniwabanshi: You like Rurouni Kenshin too? I just love Soujiro!  
  
Muse456: Aww man, gone for that long? Oh well, me too. I'm gonna be gone for July and August. How about be go to the movies or Shadowcliffs or something before that?  
  
Kurama: I never imagined that this story could get so many reviews.  
  
Hiei: Hn.  
  
Chibi: Is that all you can say?  
  
Hiei: Hn.  
  
Chibi: I GIVE UP! GRR! At least Kurama isn't this frustrating!  
  
Chan: Heh, um, we don't own Yu Yu Hakusho. But we are making up our own Manga, and we will own that soon... when we finish...which is never...  
  
Chibi: Sigh... our artists are SO lazy! (Glares at both)  
  
Chan: Heh... Anyways, we need your help. We're out of ideas, and we basically have no plot. Get the point? Now on with the fic!  
  
= - = - = - = - =  
  
"Ok, so... We have the money, the people, the clothes," Yusuke disdainfully picked at his blue and white-checkered Yukata as he continued; "Now...I'm I missing something here? Oh yeah... the festival is like...10 FREAKEN' /MILES/ AWAY!"  
  
Kurama cringed slightly at the volume of the other teen's voice. "Please Yusuke..." He pleaded, as his ears started to ring. His dress attire- as usual- was neat and ironed, unlike the other's.  
  
"WHAT KURAMA!?!" The juvenile delinquent vented his frustration out on the fox, as he reflexively started to crack his knuckles.  
  
"YUSUKE URAMESHI!" Keiko tugged on Yusuke's ear as she dragged him away from Kurama, who looked on apologetically. "Honestly, sometimes I just can't believe you!"  
  
"Oww! Keiko, let go! Owww!" Reikai's finest was under the mercy of Keiko Yukimura.  
  
Ouch. That's gotta hurt.  
  
The rest of the group watched the impressive show (For free, of course), as Keiko proceeded to lick Yusuke into shape.  
  
Her sharp tongue made them all wince as the detective started to beg for mercy.  
  
"All right, this is so stupid! This was all supposed to be a date between me and Yukina-chan!" Kuwabara whined, the idiot that he was.  
  
"Hn, which is precisely why that I will be an escort."  
  
"Thank you for coming Hiei-san." Yukina politely bowed to the fire demon, who looked very uncomfortable in a navy blue Yukata.  
  
His sword nowhere to be present around his waist- which made Kuwabara relax slightly. The fool had one less threat to worry about.  
  
Nodding his head once, Hiei glared ahead, the asphalt concrete suddenly interesting him now.  
  
"Well, this is most certainly foolish! How in the world are we suppose to get to the festival now?" Botan placed her hands around her waist, and pouted in a way that only she could.  
  
"Hey, I know! Why don't we use a car?" Kuwabara suddenly said, making the group stare at him rather...oddly.  
  
"Gee, I wonder why I didn't think of that?" Yusuke sarcastically asked, while pausing to think. "I know! Maybe I don't want to add a UAD to my record!"  
  
"What's a UAD?" Kuwabara asked, as he imitated a monkey scratching its head.  
  
"I do believe that, that would be called Under Age Driving." Kurama added his two cents in to the conversation.  
  
"So?! That still doesn't help us though. How are we going to get to the festival now, huh?" Kuwabara griped in a gravely voice that made Hiei wish to cover his own.  
  
Several centuries had taught him to perfect his emotionless mask, which was now steadily failing. "Damn fool, shut up." He hissed, as he miserably failed to play the 'uncaring, heartless bastard.'  
  
"How about this? I drive, while the rest of you get in the back? Does that sound all right to you guys?" Shizuru looked annoyed, as she let an unlit cigarette dangle from her mouth.  
  
The car keys were in her hands, as she looked on at the group.  
  
"Err... Just one question... Now why the hell didn't I think of that?" Yusuke rubbed the bridge of his nose, as he grinned sheepishly, the majority of the group sweatdropped.  
  
"Oh my, there seems to be a seat short!" Botan frowned, as the minivan could only seat seven.  
  
"Well, we can always walk..." Kurama's comment went unnoticed as Kuwabara and Hiei began to argue.  
  
"Hn, do not expect me to get into that... Ningen monstrosity." The demon spat, as sparks flew between him and the human.  
  
"Feh, for YOUR information, it's called a car, and YOU don't have ta. Yukina-chan can just take your seat, so THERE!" He stuck out his tongue as he made a face. "NNNAAAYYHHH!"  
  
"Please, be reasonable. Hiei, it's perfectly safe to ride, that I can assure you." Kurama attempted at what you would call 'hopeless' as he tried quelling the battle flames between the two fighters. (Not Kuwabara though.)  
  
"Hn."  
  
"Grr."  
  
The rest looked on warily, tired even before they got there.  
  
"How about this? Kurama, get the rope. Kuwabara just volunteered." Yusuke said as the idiot looked confused as ever.  
  
"Huh? What do you mean, Urameshi? Hey, BACK OFF!"  
  
Too late.  
  
Five minutes later...  
  
"Who knew that Kuwabara made such a nice hood ornament?" Remarked Yusuke from the front seat.  
  
"HEY! GUYS! HELP! IT'S NOT FUNNY ANYMORE URAMESHI! LET ME DOWN FROM HERE!"  
  
= - = - = - = - =  
  
After parking the car, the Yusuke-tachi tumbled out of the van, guess who was out first?  
  
"My, Hiei, you look a bit green." Kurama noticed that the fire demon was wobbling slightly as he clutched his stomach.  
  
"Hn, it's nothing Fox. Mind your own business." Hiei turned as he started to walk towards the entrance, leaving them all behind.  
  
True, he WAS unsteady on his feet a bit, as he narrowly avoided tripping over a garbage can.  
  
"Shall we?" Kurama said with a smile, following after the irate youkai.  
  
"Hey... GUYS! DON"T LEAVE ME HERE! YUKINA-CHAN! HELP!" Said so the hood ornament, helpless to do anything but to do anything.  
  
About halfway to the gate, Yukina's eyes lit up, as if remembering something very important. "Oh my, where's Kazuma?"  
  
"Good point Yukina-chan? Where IS he?" Botan mused to herself as everyone saw a light bulb go off in Yusuke's head.  
  
"Oh yeah... Well, let's forget about him and just go!" The spirit detective grinned, as he started to march off.  
  
"Yusuke, you big jerk! How could you do something like that to him?" Keiko turned around and headed back to the car in order to help the whimpering Kuwabara.  
  
"Mou! At this rate, we'll never get to have any fun!" Complained Botan as Shizuru lit a cigarette.  
  
"Just relax. They'll calm down when they want to. Besides," Shizuru looked back at the group. "You have to say that they're one of a kind."  
  
Botan sighed heavily before smiling again. "Yes, I do believe so. How many people can beat up Yusuke?"  
  
"Besides the whole female population? Yeah, I say that I have to agree with you there." Both girls started to laugh and walked off to the gates, followed closely by the so-called detective and friends.  
  
= - = - = - =  
  
So, the evening went on without a hitch... Except the tiny bit where Kuwabara canned himself, falling face first into an open dumpster, reminding him of his first day of school... (Chan: Lol. Inside joke.)  
  
"Gee Kuwabara, I never knew that you were so considerate of the environment. Cleaning up after yourself." Yusuke grinned like a cat, while Kuwabara stuck his head out of the dumpster, a banana peel in his hair.  
  
"Shut up Urameshi! I'll... I'll... I'll do something really bad!" Kuwabara jumped down from the garbage can, and removed the peel from his head.  
  
"Oh yeah? Like what? Sic your little kitty on me? I'd like to see you try." Yusuke rolled up his sleeves, as he and Kuwabara glared at each other.  
  
"Leave Eikichi out of this!" He yelled, clenching his fists together.  
  
The girls and Kurama smiled weakly as they all backed away VERY slowly.  
  
"How about this? We'll leave Yusuke and Kuwabara to settle their... differences, and Kurama can take us shopping!" Botan whispered loudly as the rest agreed. Poor Kurama...  
  
Hiei, of course, not wanting to participate in any Ningen activities, ESPECIALLY not human FEMALE activities, stayed behind with the arguing duo.  
  
Getting thoroughly exasperated by the minute, he growled, "If you two will not cease to shut up, I will have to make you myself."  
  
"Irk."  
  
"Eeep!"  
  
"Hn."  
  
The three sat on a bench, Kuwabara to the far left, Yusuke in the middle, and Hiei to the right. Minutes ticked by as the three members of the Reikai Tantei sat in stony silence.  
  
Tap, tap, tap... went Yusuke's fingers on the wood.  
  
Due to Hiei's acute demon hearing, the tapping was twice as loud and annoying.  
  
Tap, tap, tap...  
  
He gritted his teeth, and willed himself to count to ten, a trick that Kurama had taught him. He did really have a good hold of his temper when he wished to.  
  
Tap, tap, tap-  
  
Hiei snapped. "Stop that." He hissed, as he glared at the detective.  
  
"Stop what?" Yusuke frowned.  
  
"That! The damn..." Hiei desperately wanted to kill something, more preferably the person next to him.  
  
"COTTON CANDY! POPCORN! GET YOUR HOT DOGS HERE!"  
  
"Oh look! Food!! Urameshi, we gotta get some!" The idiot exclaimed as he dug through his pockets, looking for his nonexistent wallet.  
  
"Heh. Wait for me Kuwabara!" Yusuke leapt up from his seat, as if it were on fire. It would probably be, if Hiei hadn't had such a high tolerance level.  
  
"Hn, ignorant fools." Hiei felt that he seriously needed to get back to the Makai before he slowly, but surely, would be labeled as 'insane', along with the rest of them.  
  
The fact that he was in such company shamed him to no end, but as he recalled once what he had said.  
  
"I'm surrounded by idiots, but they mean well."   
  
True, they were annoying, but they had their uses.  
  
Suddenly, something really big, pink, and fluffy was shoved in front of Hiei's face, catching him by surprise.  
  
His wide red eyes looked shocked, not something that could happen very easily. Only Yukina had ever had this effect on Hiei, other than besides 'sweet snow'...  
  
"Here Hiei, thought that you'd like this." Yusuke shoved a hot dog- whole- into his mouth, his cheeks bulging out like from those rodent-like creatures in a movie that Kurama had taken him to once. (Think Chip and Dale.)  
  
The age old Kitsune thought that something 'G' rated would be have less of an influence then the one that Yusuke and Kuwabara had went. The Matrix reloaded...  
  
"Hn, and what is this exactly?" For as all Hiei knew, it could be a type of ningen poison that no doubt that the detective would find amusing to watch him wither and die.  
  
A VERY horrid image flashed in Hiei's mind as yet ANOTHER picture of a dead corpse, this time he was sure that it was one of those Egyptian, is that what Kurama said they were? Egyptian people that preserved the deceased's body. (Chan: Can you guess what movie this is from?)  
  
To him, that was pointless. They were dead, and that meant that they were never going come back. Preserving the body won't do much good, for the soul would have already would be in Reikai. But then again, he never understood how that corpse had managed to come back to life again.  
  
Yusuke body faulted, an audible 'THUD' along with a huge crater accompanied by it.  
  
Hiei gave his trademark 'Hn' as he raised an eyebrow at the detective.  
  
"It's cotton candy... Shit, don't tell me that you don't know what that is!" Yusuke proclaimed as he leapt up, dusting himself self-consciously.  
  
"Hn, should I?" Hiei scowled, wanting to scream, but his reasonable inner, calm, collected self just made him frown irritably instead.  
  
"It's... sugar spun candy, kinda like ice cream, err sweet snow." The young teen corrected himself, as he racked his brains to define the sweet to Hiei, so that the fire koorime wouldn't be so suspicious.  
  
Hiei's eyes lit up at the word 'sweet snow'. Sweet snow was good. Sweet snow... the only thing that could ease his pitiful existence into something more bearable. If this 'cotton candy' had similar attributes as his sweet snow, than by all means...  
  
The detective had to blink twice before looking at Hiei, and then the pitiful stick in his hand, Hiei, the stick, Hiei, the stick...  
  
He was thankful that Hiei didn't mistake his hand for food, as he was rather fond of that particular hand, in fact, all of his appendages thank you very much!  
  
"Hey Urameshi, didya give the runt..." Kuwabara came back, and armful of popcorn, hamburgers, sushi, corn on the cob, milkshakes, soda, chips, chicken, and other various items from the menu.  
  
Before the two humans could speak Hiei said, "More!"  
  
"What?" Yusuke scratched the back of his head.  
  
"I. Want. More! More! More! More!" The youkai was practically bouncing up and down, his eyes bubbling with excitement.  
  
Not the 'I'm in a middle of a battle, so I'll kill you and enjoy you scream as my Dragon of the Darkness Flames devours you whole, as I look on,' exhilaration, but rather the three year old kind, the really damn bratty, spoiled type.  
  
"What, ya mean more cotton candy?" The raven-haired fighter had a nagging feeling, like the one where you know that you shouldn't do this, but you don't exactly know WHY.  
  
Nodding his head very quickly, it seemed that Hiei couldn't keep still for some reason...  
  
Brown eyes widening considerably, Yusuke said one word that came to his mind. "SHIT!"  
  
Flashback  
  
"Hey Kurama, err, what's up with the renovations?" Yusuke stepped into the mangled living room of the Minamino residence.  
  
Flashing the young detective a dark look, Kurama's extremely aggravated green orbs narrowed as he spoke in his dangerously soft voice, not a good sign. "Never. Give. Hiei. Sugar. Ever. Mother wasn't very pleased with my excuse on WHY half the house was in ruins."  
  
"Oh..."  
  
End flashback  
  
"Oh is SO right..." Groaned Yusuke. He wondered how long before the sugar eventually lost its effect on a person.  
  
"Hey Urameshi, doesn't the runt act like he's well..." Kuwabara looked uncomfortable as he shifted the junk food from one arm to the other.  
  
"On Marijuana or some shit like that? Yeah, who knew sugar did that to Hiei of all the people?" Yusuke's voice sounded grim, as the two eyed the hyperactive demon warily.  
  
"Hey, didn't they say that Marijuana could last up to like a week?" Kuwabara, for some freaky reason, sounded well... 'smart' for once. (Chan: I'm killing myself... really I am...)  
  
"Well, place your bets now. I say fifty for the next hour before WWIII blows up this whole place." Yusuke sounded tired, and truth to tell, he really was.  
  
"Why?" The idiot asked unnecessary.  
  
"I've always wanted to say this. 'Fire in the hole!'"  
  
"Oh..."  
  
"Oh is SO right..."  
  
= - = - = - = - =  
  
Kurama: It appears that we have a dilemma in our hands. I know that Yusuke and Kuwabara have the best intentions for Hiei, but what they did just makes it worse. Sake, of all the... This time around, I think that the damage compared to mother's couch will ever compare to this one. Next time: Sake and Sweets, not good! 


	4. Sweets and Sake, not good!

Chan: YO! I'm back from John Hopkins! Did you all miss me?

Hiei: Is there a reason to onna?

Chan: ... Hiei-chan! I missed you so much! Did you know that NO ONE knew what Yu Yu Hakusho was?

Chibi: Gasp! No! The horror! The horror!

Kurama: Girls, it would do some good if you stopped clutching Hiei like that. He might need to breathe...

Chan: Yep, yep! Anyways it was fun there, and there was even a bat in the dorms. We had a spa day, when someone was like:

"Oh my God, it's a bird!"

"Shut up Rachel, it's not a bird. It's a BAT! Girls, run!"

It was so funny. Then someone was like:

"I know how to catch a bat. We have tons of them in New York.'

"Really? How?"

"You get a pillowcase and a stick, that's how."

They eventually caught the bat, and I even took pictures of it too! It was so cute, but not as cute as Hiei-chan...

Chibi: Sigh, I wish I could have been there to give you emotional support...

Kurama: Of course...

Hiei: Hn.

Chan: Anyways, they had no computers, so I couldn't update or nothing. So here's the prolonged chapter! Mwuhahahaha! (Gasp, wheeze, choke..)

All: Sweatdrop...

Kurama: Ahem... it feels that it is my duty to do the disclaimer. Chibi and Chan do not own anything that is related to Yu Yu Hakusho.

Chan: NO! Of COURSE I own Yu Yu Hakusho! I even have the papers to prove it!

Chibi: While Chan rants on, I'll thank the reviewers who well... gave us reviews.

Omasuoniwabanshi: Thanks so much for your review. It made me feel so happy that people like our fic! The emotional support! (Starts crying)

'Little bro': ... When I came back home, what did I find? ... The computer is even screwed up than before! I was only gone for THREE weeks! What can you have possibility done in THREE weeks that even made it worse?! I'll kill you! Grrrrrr!!!!

Rosinsniffer: Yo, I'm back and ready for action! New manga idea! New character designs! New... New... uh... Trip for river rafting! Yes! River rafting! I can't wait! Ps: Jin, Touya, Kakashi, Itachi, Naruto, and the Fourth Hokage are all mine, along with Hiei-chan. (He needed some friends...)

Lulu LABs23: Yes, sugar high! All praise thee for all things that have sugary goodness! Join the dark side, it has cookies! (Lol, inside joke...)

Muse456: Yes, and I already put my brother on the car. He really makes a nice décor, AKA: hood ornament. I'm back from my three week trip from camp... don't ask me how it was, because it would take forever to explain it to you. I'll just call, or E-mail you or something.

Madame Arrow Foxfire: Ahem... if you're confused, allow me to explain... Yukina is faking her sadness and if she really cried, she'll probably make those tear gems, which would make Hiei feel SO guilty and that would put a damper on the whole 'trip to the festival'. I'm sure that Yukina's not the type to make others miserable... An secondly... Hiei's unpredictable, don't you know that? And lastly... Kuwabara... hm... I'll get to you on that...

Fleetfoot: No! HOW COULD YOU BE LEAVING THE DAY BEFORE I COME BACK?! Whaaa! You're abandoning me! All alone... (Starts whimpering)

Princess Krystal01: OMG! OMG! OMG! You read my pitiful attempts at a fanfiction?!! You WROTE How to become a Reikai Tantei! That's like one of my FIRST Yu Yu Hakusho fanfiction stories I've ever read! (Dies of heart attack)

Kikko: Yes, yes. I've updated. Although, some help would be nice. I've run out of ideas...

Sillyningengirl: I think that you're my #1 reviewer! Cookies for you! I dedicate this chapter to you!

(Hiei: Hn.)

(Kurama: -)

Kitty2satan: ... I don't know. I think that it's towards the VERY end of the series, but I'm not too sure. Hey, Hiei DOES need a vice, right?

Black Slytherin Girl: You HAVEN'T! Gah! Go read it! There's Yu Yu Hakusho, volumes 1-4 out now. READ IT! Or you could just watch it on Cartoon network, Saturday nights at 9:30.

Wild Roses: I thought that I would have a heart attack when I saw that you put me on your author alert watch list! I feel so... unworthy of your presence! No, seriously! YOU WROTE Resurrected AND Unseen Danger! OMG!

= - = - = - = - =

OK, BEFORE I START, I WOULD LIKE TO SAY THAT THIS CHAPTER IS DEDICATED TO SILLYNINGENGIRL BECAUSE SHE'S SUPER NICE! AND ALSO TO MY BEST BUDS. YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE...

= - = - = - = - =

"All right, can things get any worse?" Yusuke muttered as he held the hyperactive fire demon in a full body-lock, desperately losing his hold as Hiei squirmed back and forth.

"DON'T YOU DARE SAY THAT URAMESHI! YOU'RE GONNA JINX US!" Kuwabara wailed from behind the bench, a meaningless wooden barrier in case the Hi youkai decided to use his Darkness flame techniques on the two delinquents.

"And do you have any suggestions?" Yusuke asked in a sticky sweet voice, honey lacing the venom, as struggling to keep the Jaganshi under control.

"Leggo Yusuke! I. Need. More! Pretty please, with...SUGAR on top?" And that was the sugar speaking, as we all know that Hiei would be the last person on earth to use manners, even till the end of the apocalypse and beyond. Or Yusuke would personally eat his gym socks, not that he had any anyways...

"No..." Kuwabara had that nagging feeling, as if something was severely wrong, not the fact that they had committed a crime that would no doubt put them behind Reikai's bars, getting Hiei high like that...

"DON'T JUST STAND THERE LIKE THE IDIOT YOU ARE, AND DO SOMETHING!" Yusuke emptied his frustration, and temper – as one might also add- as he tightened his grip on Hiei.

Long gone was the little fact that Hiei could no longer be able to breathe properly now, his face an interesting shade as his eyes, or was that because of the candy? Oh well, like that mattered to Yusuke now...

"Hey, don't you give me orders Urameshi!" Kuwabara retorted, shaking his fist as he did so, the teen's face scrunched up into a stretching frown.

Struggling, both to count to ten and to keep Hiei from wrecking havoc on the human population, Yusuke now turned his attention to the mob that had blocked their little escape route. "And what the hell are you looking at? Go take a picture, it'll last longer! Or better yet, scram!"

Muttering, the crowd broke and went their own merry way, a few even taking Yusuke's advice and a few flashes and clicks later, left the strange spectacle alone.

"Ok, so..." Yusuke furrowed his eyebrows as he thought of a solution for this 'problem'. Which was... which was... Oh damn, nothing.

The young detective had faced many harrowing and dangerous situations in his past. Life was so simple other than your average psychopath trying to take over the world, (Hitler among the many, but Yusuke wasn't alive back then, thank the Gods...).

His job was simple. Go in, knock a few bad guys around, win by a brilliant stroke of luck, and be home in time for dinner... hopefully still in one piece.

This was defiantly NOT in the job description.

"DAMN IT HIEI, STOP MOVING!" Yusuke panted, avoiding the said-so demon's fist in his mouth. "KUWABARA! SOME HELP WOULD BE NICE!"

The orange-haired carrot top rubbed his chin, lost in thought. (Which was possible, even for someone like him...) "Hmm..." He started to pace around, starting intently at the black cement.

"Well, other than just thinking really, really hard, you might want to actually come up with something you know." Yusuke's voice deadpanned, still besieged with the squirming youkai.

Snapping his fingers, Kuwabara exclaimed, "Ah ha!"

Then he scurried off, running into a stall that sold convinces.

Cocking his head, Yusuke, as best as he could, asked, "What the hell?"

Hiei, who was still fighting, bared his fangs and...

"OUCH! GOD DAMN IT... STOP BITING ME HIEI!" The raven-haired Rekai Tantei member howled in pain, the very ground shaking.

This was going to be a long night.

= - = - = - = - =

Fifteen minutes later, they had Hiei tied up in linen bandages and an empty sake bottle ignored to the left of him...

"THIS IS /SO/ YOU'RE FAULT KUWABARA!" Yusuke snarled dangerously as he paced back and forth, said so idiot nervously darting his beady black eyes from the tied up demon to the battle ready Toushin.

"What do ya mean /MY/ fault?! I can't help it if sake looks exactly like water!" The moron defended himself as he held up a bottle of water and sake in each hand.

Indeed, both liquids looked exactly the same, except for a very, very, very small difference...

"Yeah, I wouldn't have noticed anything if there wasn't a big sticker that screams, 'Water' and 'Sake' on the other. It's really a shame that you can't read." Yusuke rolled his chocolate brown eyes as he eyed the cherry-red fire demon on the ground.

"Shut it Urameshi! You could have made the same mistake too!" Kuwabara jabbed a finger at Yusuke, the middle one if you please.

"Ouch, that so hurts. Are you saying that I never passed kindergarten? Kuwabara, I've never been so insulted in my life!" Yusuke clutched his heart dramatically as Kuwabara punched his head.

"Shut up!"

"Oh yeah? Make me!"

"Fine! I will!"

"Like you'll even touch me!"

"Oh yeah? Well... Shut up!"

"Make me!"

"Uh..."

"Ha!" Yusuke held his fist in a triumphal pose. "I win!"

Yes, it was rather sad if you look at it. The fate of the world had depended on this person for quite some time now...

"Hic!" Hiei, who apparently was never much of a drinker, had a very goofy expression on his face as his cheeks were blotched red. "'usuke... Hic! 'fool... Hic! Kill 'ou when... Hic!" He broke out giggling as he fell backwards onto his back, now crossed-eyed.

"Damn... What do we do now?" Kuwabara scratched his head as he bent forwards so that he was eye level with the youkai.

"Well... I see two options..." Yusuke looked thoughtful as he stroked his chin.

"What?" Kuwabara was feeling anxious as Hiei – as much as he despised him – didn't like seeing the demon in this state where he was giggling for no apparent reason- it scared him worse than the Dragon of Darkness Flame...

"Number one... We can take pictures of him doing some really stupid shit and use it as blackmail..." The spirit detective ticked off a finger.

As much as Kuwabara had the sudden urge to buy a camera, the threat of Hiei when he was actually sober loomed over him, giving him the willies. "Uh... try the next one..."

Nodding, Yusuke continued. "Number two... we can get a tape recorder and make him confess that Yuk..." He stopped in mid-sentence as he had a very gruesome vision of Hiei decapitating his head as Kuwabara blabbed the secret to Yukina.

"What?" Kuwabara scratched his head, as he didn't quite get what was going on.

"Err... we make him confess to Kurama that he uh... he um... has a... problem with... uh... obsession! Yeah, poor Hiei has a real bad problem of taking stuff that isn't his and lying about it. You see, he somehow keeps on stealing um... stuff, so his criminal record keeps on getting bigger and Koenma can't do a thing about it, poor guy..." Yusuke faked a tear as he mentally patted his back for the good cover-up.

"Wow... I never knew... Poor little guy... No wonder he always acted like something was always up his ass. It wasn't his fault! Urameshi, how come you never told me?!" Kuwabara exclaimed as he finally knew the world's greatest secret. Hiei was a kleptomaniac!

"Yeah, you think that Kuwabara... maybe Kurama'll know what to do with him, I mean he's a demon too... He'll have something in his hair that sober Hiei real quick." Yusuke pictured Kurama dressed as a nurse with a syringe needle in one hand and Hiei on the bed, terrified out of his wits, partially of the needle and partially of how feminine Kurama actually looked in the uniform...

He sniggered at the thought as Kuwabara was totally lost.

"C'mon. Let's go find him." Yusuke picked Hiei by the scruff of his Yukata collar and hopefully picked a direction that Kurama and the girls were.

"Hey, Urameshi, don't leave me behind!" Kuwabara yelped as he ran to catch up.

= - = - = - = - =

"All right... and how old is this..." A partially fat man with a bushy mustache plastered over his upper lip looked up from his clipboard, "..child..."

The three Tantei all put on fake smiles as Kurama said in a strained voice, "...Five..."

It was the: 'this is such an obtuse answer that is clearly fallacious.' voice that made the other two humans wince at the response.

"Yeah... with two extra zeros." Yusuke muttered under his breath as Kurama discreetly jabbed his ribs painfully.

Raising a hairy unibrow, the fat man continued. "And give me a description of this... child..." His pencil was poised over the paper as Yusuke gave him a very acute, yet tweaked portrayal of Hiei.

"Spiky black hair, the kid uses too much hair gel, uh red eyes, contacts of course. He has really bad eyes at his age..." Yusuke grimaced at his words.

"Yeah, considering that he has an extra one..." Kuwabara grumbled 'inconspicuously' as Kurama gave him a stern look that said: 'now is not the time to display your famed ability to make matters worse...'

"Um, he's wearing a Navy Yukata... and uh... Hey Kurama, was he wearing his sword?"" Kuwabara asked Kurama who could have smacked his head if not for the countless centuries of self-control.

"You DO mean his plastic toy, don't you Kuwabara? No, I made sure that he had left that behind, although I do remember that he has on a white bandana and he is about this tall..." Kurama estimated of how big Hiei was with his hand.

This would have never happened if Yusuke and Kuwabara hadn't lost Hiei in a crowd.

Flashback

Kurama didn't need to have an acute sense of Spirit awareness like Kuwabara to know that something was very wrong when Yusuke and Kuwabara had shown up in a Store without Hiei.

For starters, Yusuke was sweating bullets and Kuwabara was actually crying tears.

"What's wrong?" Kurama asked as he made his way out of the store, leaving the girls behind.

"Uh...um...We-got-Hiei-sugar-high-then-Kuwabara-thought-that-it-would-make-him-better-if-we-gave-him-water-to-calm-him-down-but-it-was-actually-sake-so-he's-now-drunk-and-we-lost-him-in-a-crowd-so-now-we're-here-so-can-you-help-us?" Yusuke babbled quickly, waiting for Kurama's reaction.

Kuwabara was cowering behind Yusuke, just in case if Shuuichi decided to go all Youko on them.

Kurama blinked several times, taking in what the spirit detective had said. "It appears that we have a dilemma on our hands..."

End flashback

This was the reason that they were in the lost and found for lost children in the middle of the festival. Fun, fun, fun, right?

"Uh, you might wanna have some sort of weapon just in case if he decides to go all psycho on you...just in case, you know?" Kuwabara laughed nervously by himself as he sweated even more.

"Yeah...um, were volunteers for the Insane Asylum Institution down by the street, here's our card...whoops, must have dropped it somewhere... HOLY CHEESE ON RYE, IS THAT HIEI!?!" Yusuke pointed out the window as a runaway cotton candy cart dangerously cantered past them, with what suspiciously looked like Hiei on top.

"Well, thank you for your assistance, but there is no need for your help now." Kurama politely thanked the man as he followed Yusuke and Kuwabara out the door.

"Damn it Hiei, get the hell back here!" Yusuke was now several feet behind the cart as Kuwabara was right behind him.

"You shrimp, I'm gonna beat you so bad that... that... that my sweet Yukina-chan won't even recognize you no more!" Kuwabara waved his fist in the air as they chased Hiei down.

"Please, Yusuke, Kuwabara, both of you cannot use any of your spirit attacks here in front of such a large crowd." Kurama dolefully reminded them as he too made a mental note that transforming in Youko was a no-no.

"Oh no you don't! Err... Flashlight gun... attack... thingy..." Yusuke proceeded to hurl flashlights from a random stall and to their best of luck, bull's eye!

"WHEEE! 'da fun! 'try 'gain 'usuke?" Hiei slurred as he toppled over, one of the wheels on the cart spinning dangerously as it was deposed over to one side.

Sighing a breath of relief, Kurama picked up Hiei as Kuwabara yelled, "And just what the hell are you all looking at? Go away!"

The crowd disappeared quickly enough as the three decided that tonight's fun was more than enough for one day.

As they were walking back to the parking lot, the girls, (Botan especially), complaining that they had not enough time to finish their shopping yet, begrudgingly followed them.

Hiei, who was now unconscious, snored lightly as he muttered things in his sleep.

Kurama started to chuckle as his sharp demonic hearing picked up a few words.

"What's so funny Kurama?" Keiko asked as Yusuke trailed after her, his cheek bright red, a hand imprint tattooed to his side.

With light humor in his voice, the red-haired young man said, "It's nothing really... but you do realize that sake works even better than truth serum?"

= - = - = - =

Kuwabara: Ha, the midget can't take his drinks like a real man and he has a real bad hangover to show for that! Too bad that Yukina-chan's so worried about him, I mean what makes him so much better than me anyways? Oh yeah, it's her birthday tomorrow! I gotta go get her something real special, can't let the shrimp make me look like a fool. Next time: Hangovers and birthdays!


End file.
